It really IS all about Jesus

Over the past month and a half I've been focusing my energy on getting a job and figuring out what I'm going to do in the spring. I knew from the point that I decided to leave YWAM that I was going to need direction from God before making any huge life changes, so between job hunting, college searches, and disc golf, I've been seeking God. I've been just consuming reading material like a madman. I'm reading Christian books, listening to sermons, reading the Bible, and reading Christian articles online. When I just can't take any more reading, I start watching sermons, Christian videos, and Christian movies. (Sermons from Mark Driscoll and others, and an awesome documentary from the makers of Finger of God called Furious Love) I've been focusing on the Love of God, and people who have experienced that love and put it into action. Heidi Baker, David Hogan, Smith Wigglesworth, and Kennith Hagin were just a few that I have studied. There were many people who have said that some of them were "false prophets", and there were probably an equal number of people that showed them respect. (I cannot say whether or not any of the people I have studied were false prophets or not. I can only pass judgment according to their spiritual fruit.) Disregarding criticism, the one thing that I have noticed is that these people were transformed, influenced, and fueled by the Love of God. There are many cases where a minister, or "revivalist", were initially drawn in and influenced by God's love, and then later forfeited the intimacy, power, and love of God, to pursue their own sinful desires.

I just came back from a walk, and God spoke to me an interesting thing. Often you hear people say, "faith is blind". I disagree completely. Before I explain that statement, let me call attention to another common saying, "Love is blind". I disagree with this idea as well. When we love someone, we act as if reality and circumstances have no bearing on the relationship. We trust the other person to come through for us no matter what. In human relationships, many are let down, because we were never meant to put someone in the place of God. However, when we are in love with God we are to trust him - no matter the circumstance. How do we do this? In the Bible, we are told that we are to be a body with Jesus as the head. We don't need to trust our own sight, because the only parts on the body that are able to see are the eyes. We really can't see what is truly going on, we don't have the hardware. Simply move in the way the head directs.
Picture this: Imagine you are baking in the kitchen. The timer for the cake notifies you that it's time to take the cake out of the oven before it gets burned. You reach for the oven mit', put it on, open the oven and reach into the oven to retrieve the freshly baked cake, and to your surprise, your hand objects! It exclaims "I can't go in there, it's too hot! I'll get burned!" Knowing that hands possess no intelligence, and have no brain or eyes, this statement is foolish - in fact, the hand is wearing a mitten, and won't be burned as long as you don't hold the hot cake for a long time. You know something that the hand does not. The hand does not have the responsibility of looking after itself, the head does. The same principal applies when we are connected to the body of Christ. We have a specific job as a part of the body Christ, and since Jesus is the head, we can figure out that we won't be hearing, speaking, seeing, tasting, smelling, or thinking. We simply obey in love. A body loves itself, so Jesus will take care of his Body. We may say something, but it is Jesus that is to be speaking through us. We may see or hear something, but it is Jesus that gives us discernment. Paul says in Acts 17:28 that, "In him we live and move and have our being." (Paul was quoting Aratus's poem "Phainomena", when addressing the Athenians about their altar "to the unknown god") In Jesus we are to live and move and have our being. When I think about being controlled by Jesus, I think of a dead body coming to life. Something like a reanimated corpse. That body has no will of it's own, but it is being controlled by something else. In the beginning of our walk with Christ, our walk is something like a zombie stagger, but as time goes on, we are transformed into a new being, and we are able to run with Jesus! The old rotten corpse has gone, and the new body has come!

To bring it all together - If we focus on Jesus, and trust that he is the one who loves us, and can truly see, we are able to do the impossible, because it is not us that is living, it is Christ in us. When we perform miracles, it isn't us at all, it's Jesus that moves in and through us. When we speak to people about the Gospel and the Love of Jesus, it isn't us speaking, it is him speaking through us. Sometimes I force myself to "believe" or to have the "right" answer, and that's just my flesh. It's just pride. I know when Jesus is speaking through me, because I wish I was taking notes! I know Jesus is working through me, because I am able to accomplish something that I never would have been able to accomplish on my own. When this happens, we are humbled! It looks like pride when we acknowledge our accomplishments, but it is actually true humility, because we know that we could never accomplish these things without the help of Christ.

I take it back

Oh, there is so much inside the soul. There is equally infinitely more in the world that surrounds. The hard things in life are simple answers to complex situations. I can handle a calculated religious answer, but when it comes to being silent and letting the maker of everything that was ever created grasp the steering wheel of my life - I always over-complicate. My goodness, imagine the life that humanity could life if we would lay down our pride and accept Jesus for who he really is, and we emulated him? Imagine what salvation through Christ would do to the world if we believed every salvation-defining word in the Bible?
Oh yes, humanity is human. Flesh is sinful. There is grace and forgiveness in Christ. Is it really wrong for me to believe that we can do better than this? Is it wrong for me to (as many others before me have) despise going to "church"?

Really?

...

No, Really.

That wasn't a group of rhetorical church questions.

I don't have much grace or patience, but I still would much rather go with the flow than rock the boat. That's weird, because the thing that I hate the most is what I see in myself. Maybe humility through Christ is the only answer to these frustrations. Maybe if I just simply lived my life to humbly serve, then things would really change. What made me think that controlling people would make the world flip upside down, when control is only useful in generating greed, profits, and self-promotion? Look at people who have changed the mindsets of a nation - Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King Jr., Jesus (obviously) - Did they rise to power and try to flip things upside down? No. They each went to the bottom. Think about this - Have you ever gone to a Caber toss? (Me neither, but bear with me.) Caber toss is a Scottish game where a bunch of buff dudes throw (basically) telephone poles, and see who can throw it the farthest. Now, imagine this - the first guy comes out and stands the pole on end, to only start climbing to the top. He's not going to get very far. The best that he's going to do is fall with the log. This is pride. We try to climb to the top to flip the world upside down. It doesn't work that way. The second contestant takes his spot and grabs the pole by the bottom, lifts the caber, starts a running approach, and launches the pole end-over-end down the field. The second contestant humbly followed the rules and changed the life of that log.

It's so easy to get involved in politics; I advise not to get involved. When someone tries to control from the top, he's just going to wreck the whole system. If change is going to come, it has to start at the bottom; not from the banks. Just let it fall. God's got the godly in his hands.

God's working on me to be humble, love, and serve. It's going to take a long time to get it right. Thank God that he loves us not for what we do, but for who we are.

...this one's for Jesus.

Happy 2010!

I am once again amazed by how God has our lives in his hands. Just when I figure out that I haven't been keeping my eyes on the road, I start to panic and I find that Jesus had everything under control, despite my negligence and carelessness. You'd think that once I had figured out that I wasn't in a ditch by then, I'd give credit to God. Well, that's not necessarily the case.

I look around to see if anyone was watching my mishap; like before, I escaped unnoticed. Coolly I press the sweat from my face as I chuckle to myself, "good thing I caught myself". Once again, I'm in control - oh boy, it feels good. Jesus is just calmly sitting on the bench seat in the back of the car - waiting. Of course I know he's there. "He wouldn't have done anything if I hadn't been driving," I thought to myself, "I've gotta be doing the right stuff in order for Jesus to do anything."

The story is just an example of how I live my life from time to time. I get going in a certain direction, and I forget who I'm living for. In fact, many people do the same. We're living life, staying out of the ditch. It doesn't matter if our driving looks like we had a great night of bar-hopping, we think we're getting along just fine. Daily Bible reading is done just to check it off the list, quiet times are interrupted by our mental "to-do" lists, and our focus becomes egocentric. Our life becomes void of Christ. We've seen it before - people are getting saved in church on Sundays while the pastor is having an affair. Worship leaders are bringing people into the presence of God while they're dealing with a drug addiction.

Let me bring this closer to home.
How about the way you treat people? When people come to you to pour out their hearts, are you listening to them, or do you cut him or her short just to give a solution that you obviously know the answer to (which in arrogance, you don't)? Do you humble yourself to others? Do you take responsibility for your struggles? Do you admit your faults? Do you give others grace when grace seems to be the last possible resort?

The way you treat others is a reflection of what is truly going on inside.
Yes, I am pointing a finger. Yes, this world is full of broken people. I am one of those people, and so are you. What will you do about it?

Take this chance to re-focus yourself. Who are you living for? If it's Jesus, he's got you; all we have to do is give him the time, and he'll do the rest. Be HONEST with Him, and HE WILL come through for you!

Jesus didn't censor His life, don't censor yours.

So simple, it's almost stupid.

So many times I've gone to church and the topic has been about being "Mary" and not "Martha"; About being the one chillin' with Jesus, and not the one working to prove herself to Jesus. The message seems way overdone.

"...She had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me." Jesus answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. One thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her." (KJV- My emphasis and paraphrase) Luke 10: 38-42

Woah! This is amazing! This passage clearly explains what I had felt when I first arrived at YWAM (or at least for the first two months). "God! I'm sending out all these emails, and working so hard here at YWAM, and I'm still not getting the support I need, and I'm having a hard time feeling your presence! What's going wrong, God?" I had heard the story before, but did I really get it? I thought, "Yeah, I know, put God first, my ministry second. I've heard it all before, and I'm trying my hardest."

That's the problem though - We're trying too hard. Now, don't get me wrong, I can't stand it when I meet a fellow brother or sister in Christ and they tell me, "I'm waiting for God to tell me where to go next" when they've been stuck in the same rut for years. God's probably given them many chances to move, or suggestions to act, but they would rather God plop opportunity in their lap. There's a difference between obedience and religious obligation. Obedience is what needs to be done, and religious obligations are extra.

The Shack gives a good illustration. There is a point in the book where the main character, Mac, has to rescue his children from drowning after their boat got capsized. Mac explains that it is much easier for a lifeguard to save someone's life if they aren't struggling. Once we let God do the work, and stop struggling, stop burning the candle at both ends, stop working overtime, He can save us!

It's simple - God first, everything else second. I have no idea how many times I've learned this lesson. I've forgotten time and time again, and God has had to come and re-teach this elementary, yet foundational lesson.

YWAM Promo - Joe Mills from Joe Mills on Vimeo.

“Wow, how awful the first time it felt impossible...” - John Reuben, 'Focus'

“You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, And called from its farthest regions, And said to you, 'You are my servant, I have chosen you and have not cast you away: Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' ” - Isaiah 41:9-10

Yes, how awful it did feel impossible to do the work that God called me to do in Boston for the first month that I was here. Go figure, I had found myself once again drowning in feelings that I didn't know how to express or communicate, and thus secluded myself. “Share your heart with people”, I was told. How though? Usually I would start a relationship to either get something from that person, or help them until they needed my help no longer. Sharing my heart – doesn't that mean that I'll have to be vulnerable? Doesn't that mean that people can hurt me? Well, yes – but it also allows you to truly love people. Love has never been safe, logical, or easy. Take a look at the risk God took by planting the Tree of Life, and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. There was a possibility that the relationship between him and his creation would be forever severed if the wrong decision was made. We know how history has played out from there. Flesh and bone laid hold of something that was not intended from them, and what came about was the great separation between God and Man. It was a risk, but God is redeeming us. He took responsibility for our actions, and offered an alternative – Jesus.

I just finished the book "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge. Fantastic book, by-the-way. God really showed me that I was built to feel, and to express my feelings. The book also talks about how men are built for adventure. So often I suppress adventure or violence, because that's how I was raised - not necessarily how I was built. If you get a chance, pick up the book. Even if you're a lady, check it out, it'll help you get a better view into the mind of men.

This past month I've been busy trying to get settled in here at the new base. I've helped remodel our kitchen – which involved moving a wall, and installing switches and lights. This next week, the guys will be moving into the girl's old house. We're working on starting Joshua Generation (JG - our summer high-school program) in Brazil this year, so we'll have JG in Pittsburgh, Boston, Peru, and now Brazil! We had an “unofficial open-house” today where we had about twenty Koreans from around the world have breakfast with us, and then pray. Oh man, the prayer was awesome! We have been hearing prophecies and visions about the Boston/New England area non-stop. It's so remarkable that God would call me from Colorado to Massachusetts to be a part of a huge revival yet to come! God is giving me a new passion for art, and I am working towards using my art to affect the artistic and academic community of Boston. Don't feel excluded, you're also involved in what's going on here in Boston. YWAM Boston would not have been able to get where we are now without your faithful prayers and support!

I'm still short on financial support. Very short. God has provided for me this last two months, in which I have been able to pay all of my fees, but I will eventually need monthly supporters. Our multimedia department is also trying to raise money to buy a better camera, which will cost about $1,500. I'm also hoping that we can get some donations so we can upgrade our Video editing systems, so we can spend more time making videos and less time waiting for the computer to render.


How can you help? Tell your friends about what I'm doing! Direct them to my facebook page, or give them my email!

Remodel: Soul

I had a chance to tag along with my parents to the Bible study they attend on Sundays. There were several things that I found very interesting. First off, we were studying the book of Ruth, and were focusing on the relationship between Ruth and Naomi, and the parallel they share with Israel and the church. I am horrible at taking notes... so I didn't. I will, however, do my best to share with you what I gleaned from the study. Here's the basic idea - Israel is God's pride and joy. Unfortunately, Israel is going through troubles due to not recognizing Christ as the Messiah. Now, the Bible talks about the church being grafted into the family. Picture this - Israel is a tree stump, and the church (vine) is grafted into the trunk. When the trunk is dying, the grafted limbs will die with it. Why do you think that church attendance is down to single-digit percentages? Well, the health of the church is directly related to the spiritual health of Israel, and until Israel realizes that Jesus was the Messiah... things won't change. Ruth then found her "kindred redeemer"- Boaz. [by this point, my mind started to overload] I won't be able to go into much more detail than that.
The Bible study leader, Dave, mentioned that there is going to be a massive revival (or similar event) happening within this next year - based off of prophecies in the Bible, and literary connections with characters and people (such as Ruth and Israel).
The next thing that Dave briefly touched on was the misinterpretation of Romans 13. You're probably familiar with this verse since you have used it against someone or someone has used it against you. If you're not familiar, the verse is sometimes translated as "submit to your government". This is a terrible misinterpretation. Paul, who wrote this book, was found escaping from authorities many times, which you would think wouldn't happen if he was "submitting to authority". In many translations it says "subjection to higher powers", and Dave commented that the original translation for one of the words (I can't remember what word it was, but it is often translated as "government") is "Deacon", not "government". Hitler used this verse to control the Christian population in Germany, and the people, by lack of knowledge, bowed to his will, and marched to their death. (here's a link that explains it in better detail - http://www.remnantradio.org/Archives/articles/Romans13.htm)

So! Other than that...

This is my last week in Colorado! I could hardly sleep in this morning. I was wide awake at 6:30 a.m. (disgusting, I know). We have a new office in Boston! This is very exciting because my home will not be being used as the base office and kitchen - less mess, more space, more fun. I am still wayyyy behind in my monthly support, so that's going to be a challenge. (If you would like to get on my newsletter, or get involved in support, please fill out the form at the bottom of this page!) I'm currently working on making support letters/fliers to mail out and post at my local churches.

I ask that you keep my fellow DTS students in prayer. I have talked to a few of them, and they're being challenged with where to go next in their lives. Pray that God gives them wisdom to chose the path He has for them!

I'd love to hear from you!

Shalom!

The home stretch

August 27th - I've got about a week left of being in Colorado.
Fundraising has been slow, but with some success. I still need more monthly supporters, but it's God whom I'm really banking on. What confuses me the most about financial supporters is that it's usually the families that have no money that make large financial contributions to ministries. I almost feel guilty when someone who is "under-privileged" in the world's eyes, makes a massive contribution. I want to bring that person with me when I do fundraising to tell all the "rich" or "comfortable" people, "This person has nothing, and they gave more than ten people who have at least two cars parked in their garage." This happened in the Bible! (check out Luke 21:1-4) What people don't understand is this - God blesses you for giving and being generous! What will being stingy accomplish? God is the one who determines whether or not you'll keep your riches!

I am thankful for the support that I have already received. There are a few supporters that have pledged monthly support, and without them, I would be in a little bit more distress. I am, however, quite disappointed that I haven't been able to recruit more supporters. This Sunday my church will be giving a quick overview of what I'll be doing and where I'll be going, and then they'll be sending me off. I hope that God impresses on the hearts of people to commit to supporting my ministry. I'm sure that he will, but I like having the support ahead of time!

I ask that you really contend with me for financial support, because without prayer, without God, I'm going nowhere.